Burnout: Stage 3

Exposition

I used to watch, without wavering week-after-week, the trials and tribulations of the tumultuous Star Ship Enterprise (NCC-1701D...not the original); in other words, I ogled actors whose names slide off the slick, celebrity-stricken ears of most Americans: Wil Wheaton, Patrick Stewart, Brent Spiner, Marina Siritis. And as I tuned-in, these characters, caught in catastrophe-upon-catastrophe, played out their lives for years. I came to them for solace. I came to know them. And they were, of course, eventually cancelled.

I learned something from them as I learned my craft from my mentors: each episode is new, but one's arc is well-defined. And I have been through many arcs, my faithful Furious. Gaylen taught me best to recognize them, although Richard had put me through them once already unwittingly. In the end, I have learned to recognize the draconian dramas, the faux-ferocities, and un-needed necessities of annihilation of both STNG and Burnout. This is not a game, and this is not an experiment. Take heed, all those who embark on such Herculean tasks.

Burnout

Stage I: This is the longest, most protracted stage in which perseverance is little more than parlance. You can last here longest. Each subsequent stage is a half-life with perils a-plenty, but this is the place in which one can "dig-in" and diligently execute one's duties. Your focus will be sharp, unwavering, and formidable. Days turn into nights and into days, but you will remain stalwart in your stewardship. This is Zen. This is the zenith of your work. Enjoy it. You'll need it later.

At the end of Stage I, you'll feel confident and capable, coherent and still compassionate. You'll have perspective and pay-off, the best combination of time and effort. Here, one should rest. Beyond this point, one's ability to be stable and sane will be called into question. This is a bold statement, but one I intend to describe in the most-sincere of terms. If you pass Stage I, you will enter the next stage.

Stage II: Unless you are Sisphus, this stage is the hardest; it is the least dangerous but most selfishly-beneficial. In "Stage II", you are the most important thing that is happening. Not just at work, but in your sphere of influence at large. You're the best coder, the best designer, the best lover, the best partner, the best friend. You're wrong, of course. No, really. You are wrong. But you won't know that until "Stage III". You can accomplish incredible things. You think across functional lines, and reason, at one moment, in the technical world, and then in the business world without the (perceived, self- or otherwise) "lag" of context-switching. You see problems without time. You see solutions without resource-constraint. And you begin the process of seeing possibilities that have no connection to reality.

And you begin to learn your limitations. For many, this process is sped-up through exams in college and university. Coffee (or the fashionable drug of the day) becomes one's ally. And we are told that each high has its low; each fantasy has its reality. And Stage II begins to become a reality.

Until Stage III, you can burn the candle at both ends, in the middle, and then just light the fucker with a blowtorch because you're bored and you're so much better than those around you. (Those who know The Fury best can recognize this behaviour, and those with whom He has discussed Burn Out know the effects.) The problem is not Stage II's immediate effects. The problem lies between Stage II and Stage III.

At the end of Stage II, you're left with a sense of hard-work and capability. It's a very real sensation, and it can be backed-up with months (or years) of work. But I caution you, my Furious, against the causality that is Stage III. Every sense of well-being will emigrate, and every sense of self-sufficiency will be sent a-sunder.

Stage III: You are at peace. You know your place. You are competent beyond comprehension, even your own. Words flow from your mouth like a hot well in Spring. And you are, in many ways, lost. (Now this is my personal experience. And The Fury has been wrong, but perhaps you have experienced this before.)

Your work is easy, and those around you seem incompetent. Your friends become bland and unintelligent. Your purpose is clear but misunderstood. But still you work. And for "the good" of . You can see the path laid before you, and it is fraught with error. You are the cure for such a place, but you are only one person. You can only do so much. And you put in more time. And more. And more.

The end of this stage is change.

And rarely for the better, my Furious. This stage yields nothing but experience. The experience will only show its fruits when one has recovered to Stage I or Stage II. You are blind from work and you will not see progress or hope. "It is forsake in these Lands," to quote the LOTR trilogy.

Having been there, I can only offer this:

Be Well. Be Strong.

Be Furious.

And be aware.